this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
