im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
