he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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