Please, let me fuck your mom
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
