We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
