textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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