i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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