when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize