found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
