Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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