You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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