Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I need a hoe opinion
go on
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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