I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
