Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Don't make out with my wife yet
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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