Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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