I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
