i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
