Its about making memories worth repressing
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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