Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
