Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
