I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
