I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
