And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
