so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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