does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
