that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
