I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
