That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
my poor anus
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
