So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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