Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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