Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
