I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
