So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
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That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
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Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize