sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize