pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
