on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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