2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
