So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
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