hotel room ftw
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I came so hard my ears popped.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
