Where is the hickey?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
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