Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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