On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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