I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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