Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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