I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
