So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
