Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
