he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
