I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
