susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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