my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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