Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
