There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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