She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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