Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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