I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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