He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
