She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
