he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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