I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I have demons in me.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
