i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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