you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
