Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
vagina is talking i cant
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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