What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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