things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
my sisters under your porch take her home
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
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I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
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I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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