I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
