She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
