its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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