Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
