It's like God shit irony all over that family
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
