It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
