You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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