Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
